My “Dear John” letter to Old Man Winter

6 more inches. March 29, 2014

6 more inches. March 29, 2014

Dedicated to (and inspired by) Sister Ann Kelly at Ursuline College

Dear Old Man Winter,
We’ve been together a long time now, and let’s face it: things have gone cold between us. It’s just been too long, and I need a change. It’s not you; it’s me. I wasn’t made for this kind of intense, monogamous relationship. I think we should see other seasons. There is no easy way to say this: I want to be with Spring.

Sure, there was a sparkle during those first few snows when the light would glint romantically off your crystalline beauty. The cold air was crisp and fresh; your fluffy white drifts made the whole world look like a clean slate. The fat, lake-effect snowflakes held the promise of holiday festivities, and the kids were excited to get a few snow days to sled and build snowmen.

But that was months and months ago. You just couldn’t stop at the snow days; you had to pile on the ice days and wind chill days as well. You came on too strong. The routine got old: every time you would turn the skies dark with your lake-effect clouds and blow into the snow belt, you would back off and promise to let up for a few days. But then you would storm back in again, with more bluster each time. You even tried to get your friends to make excuses for you. On The Weather Channel they promised repeatedly that you would be on your best behavior soon, but every time you made them look like fools. Even they finally stopped defending you.

I hope you can see now that it’s time we went our separate ways. I just can’t take your abuse anymore. During our time together I have grown pale, depressed, and developed cabin fever. Everywhere I look you have left piles and piles of snow-dirt. You and I were just not meant to last. It is time for you to move on. I promise you that we will see each other again one day, but now is not our time. If you ever loved me, let me go. I need this. I need to be with Spring.

With warmest regards,
A Clevelander in the Snow Belt

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